It's Wednesday, and the gays are sad. As we stare out the window, pink rain spattering on the glass, and sip our tea with Valium crushed all up in it, we would like you all to know about it. Specifically, suspected (and, um, proven) geigh and American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken would like to sing about furtively masturbating to pictures of Chad Michael Murray while locked in a closet, and some sorta geigh (he dated Lance "On The Line" Bass) named Reichen Lehmkuhl (evidently that's a name) wants to teach us an important lesson. Clay was on QVC recently promoting a new album or haircut or line of products for lonely people. He sang his new song, subtly called "The Real Me," which includes lyrics like "Do I let it show, does anybody know?" (yes, dear) and "Living a charade, always on parade" (charades imply guessing, love). So yeah. That dude is blue. Reichen was apparently dumped by someone who was just into him for his massive, massive fame. He wrote a blog entry on his MySpace account saying things like "Never believe them when they say they're only going to sleep with you, especially when there is a social climbing opportunity in front of them." Oh how terrible. That must be a constant cross to bear for someone who was on Big Brother Amazing Race once. After the jump, find a video of Clay singing the sad gay bastard song, and get the full Reichen blog entry.

Dating Tips for Hollywood Never believe them when they say they're in love with you.

Never believe them when they tell you where their heart is.

Never believe them when they say they're only going to sleep with you, especially when there is a social climbing opportunity in front of them.

Never underestimate their need for celebrity, money, and fame.

Never believe you can fix it by being true or nice.

Never EVER believe love is more important to them than anything Hollywood.

Don't date in Hollywood. Realize that for them, it's all BUSINESS.