Can you believe that it's May already? I feel like it was just February. If anyone could tell me what happened in March and April, that'd be greatly appreciated. For now, though, I'll just keep plodding ahead, as we all must. I'm going to put on my best dress, a big floppy bonnet, and dance around the maypole. And, um, speculate about penis piercings: "Which celebrity dad is just as rebellious as his starlet daughter? The troubled parent wears a ring through a piercing on his nether regions." [P6] A few more sunshiny spring blind items after the jump.

  • "Which columnist for a sleepy tabloid - whose physical stature is as small as his ego is large - is quite the prima donna? Before his recent speech and book-signing at a library in Connecticut, he presented a list of demands, from the mundane (a glass of water, a reserved parking space) to the persnickety (no round table, no tablecloth)." [P6]
  • "Which wonky reality show star quietly checked into a California rehab center only to head for the exits when the staff said they would be searching her bags? Wait, you mean you can't take drugs into rehab?" [Rush & Molloy]
  • "This A list director at least by reputation and name recognition has always lived in his own world. Apparently this world now includes his new found love for women in their 60's. That's great for them since our director is approximately half their age. Hey its approximate." [Crazy Days and Nights]