Welcome back to the work week! And look at that, May 19th all ready. Pretty soon it will be June and summer will be in full swing and we'll be too busy listening to the cicadas and drinking lemonade and trying to, dear God please, get the damn kids out of the damn house to care about silly blind items. For now, though, we'll carry on, with closeted starlets, obsessed publicists, and gnarled love triangles, after the jump.

1) "Which celebrity starlet are magazines desperately trying to get to come out on their pages? Editors say they are willing to pay big bucks for the first interview." [Rush & Molloy]

2)"Which new-mama publicist has named her bundle of joy after a certain D-list "celebrity" she has been crushing on for years, much to the embarrassment of her baby daddy?" [Rush & Molloy]

3) And, hooftie, if you can follow this one: "This one hurts because I would have never thought of this B list film actress as a home wrecker. She has always been a favorite. B list film actress sounds so generic now doesn't it? How about we make (#1) gorgeous and aging, but not old. How about someone who is taken seriously as an actress but is definitely not shy about showing off her body. OK, so on the set of her new film she and her female co-star (#2)who was once a B list actress and is now closer to C, but is well known and made her reputation from basically one television show and one serious boyfriend, were bonding and talking smack about the other cast members. At some point they both started talking about our B-/C+ actor (#3) who is doing this film but is known much more for two great television roles on two great television shows. OK, they were both good shows, but I only liked one. Turns out that #3 had hit on both #1 and #2 and #2 was discussing how she would never do anything with him because #3 has a long term girlfriend (#4) who used to be A list and just kind of wanders from role to role now. #2 was looking to #1 for agreement that it was wrong to sleep with #3, and #1 confessed that she had been sleeping with #3 since the third day of filming and that #3 was going to leave #4 for #1. #2 and #1 haven't spoken to each other since." [Crazy Days and Nights]