· Archie put up a good fight, but it was grungemo disciple David Cook who reigned
Idol supreme.
· The Cannes Film Festival and the rest of the world thrilled to the launch of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom Of Holy Shit This Sucks.
· Paramount's newfound riches underwrote The 'Ow Shia's Balls' Jungle Coaster.
· Meanwhile, hairless Harrison Ford flies a mean Beaver.
· Denise Richards: It's Complicated. Is it? Is it really though? We guess when it gets into prostitute-tranny-infected semen territory, it is a little.
· Sex and the Shitty. Sex and the Shiksa. Sex and the Leaked-Sceney. Everything but the "City!"
· Naughty, naughty Miley.
· Cannes also welcomed an angry Spike, a controversial Che, an immodest Gwyneth and a snog-happy Lindsay.
· Who in the world is Jodie Foster shacking up with? It's the game taking America by storm!
· A tank top-doffing, pregnancy-budgeting Angelina Jolie drew raves from film critics as well as from homemade-heroin-tape viewers. Brad Pitt attempted payback by aging backwards in Spanish.
· Celebrity momabler Dina Lohan gets the TV show she deserves. Ali Lohan impresses David Letterman with her agreeability.
· The Bachelorette passes up a real gem. Awoooooo!
· Dissatisfied with MGM's lack of support, Tom Cruise went door-to-door via Google.
· Whose casting was stuntier: Jake Gyllenhaal's as a Persian prince, or Richard Dreyfuss's as Dick Cheney?