Shortest long weekend ever! Let's make every weekend three days (or, heck, four) so we can spend as much time as possible this summer walking on the beach or reading in a patch of sun or crying softly on the back porch while your sister stirs the lemonade in the kitchen angrily, pretending not to notice you. That way we'll have fewer days to deal with pesky blind items about celebrity pity sex and cocaine problems. Just like the two waiting for you after the jump.

1) "Which rotund actress had a romantic rendezvous with a waiter - but only after the server's boss promised him free food and drinks if he 'went the extra mile' to keep the thespian happy? One cocaine-fueled romp later, and the waiter has yet to see his payoff. 'I slept with the beast for this?' he complained." [NYDN]

2) "Which top celeb has returned to her man time and time again even though his raging coke habit makes him an evil devil to live with?" [Mirror]