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CARLSBAD, CA — One of the best things about AllThingsD.com is John Paczkowski, the site's sardonic tech blogger, whom Kara Swisher cleverly poached from the San Jose Mercury News's Good Morning Silicon Valley blog. At the D6 conference, there has been no sign of John Paczkowski — only an overly sincere reporter impersonating him. There is no speaker the normally acidic Paczkowski can't find something nice to say about. Who is this guy, and what has he done with the real John?

In liveblogging yesterday's universally panned Microsoft presentaion, Paczkowski wrote: "Well this is sweet. A multi-touch piano. Seems very responsive." Today, he penned this paean to Amazon.com's CEO: "Jeff Bezos is among the Internet's true pioneers and visionaries, creating one of the Web's greatest brands and one of its most enduring companies." Kara, I know you have Patches tied up in a closet somewhere in the Four Seasons. Let him free!