The Ronson family, comprised of DJ/Lindsay Lohan dater Samantha, DJ/producer Mark, fashion designer Charlotte, and a wacky socialite Mom and rock-star stepdad, is "not like the Kennedys," in the words of son Mark. And he's right! They're fairly bizarre, and they're everywhere. Samantha's already converted Lindsay Lohan to kissing girls, and Mark is going around telling stories of sleeping over at Michael Jackson's house when he was a child. After the jump, a brief guide to the family that would let their kid sleep over at Michael Jackson's.

The matriarch, socialite/writer Ann Dexter-Jones, is a rigorous and shameless self-promoter. It's not an accident her kids are mildly famous! As someone told New York magazine, she's "society with a small 's', the kind of person Nan Kempner thinks it's terribly amusing to know." The kids grew up with stepdad Mick Jones of Foreigner; they're recently divorced and she told the Observer last year she was living in the Bowery Hotel. (She "forgot" to look for a house.) She's also a reiki master!

"I am known as 'Mummy Dearest,' " Ann goes on, eyes narrowing. "I changed the locks when Mark snuck out to stay at Sean Lennon's house because Pearl Jam was coming over. I told the nanny — I was away at the time — he will not sneak in the back door!"

Samantha, 30, a DJ: Her most recent claim to fame, of course, converting her friend Lindsay Lohan to lesbianism. "I have no idea why the media is interested in us," she told New York at 22 years old. "But as long as I'm makin' loot, it's all good." She's the part-owner, along with Chris Noth, of New York nightclub the Plumm, and has a band.





Mark, 32, a DJ: He grew up in London down the street from the McCartneys until age 8. At 14, he got an internship at Rolling Stone. (Jann Wenner's wife was friends with his mom). He started DJing professionally as a senior at Collegiate prep school. He's been labeled a "trust-fund DJ" by the Observer but even Jay-Z concedes that "Nigga is sweet." He bought a $1.8 million apartment in Greenwich Village two years ago and used to be engaged to Rashida Jones, Quincy's daughter. (Now he's dating Gavin Rossdale's long-lost teenage model daughter, Daisy Lowe.) He's also a music producer and has won three Grammys.

Sean Lennon, son of John and Yoko, was his best friend growing up. They used to hang out at kiddie-porn enthusiast Michael Jackson's house when they were kids. Says Mark of the experience:

It's a weird story, but I didn't touch him. We (Ronson and Lennon) used to watch the porn channel because we were, like, 10 and, 'Oh my God, [boobs]!' So Michael was in bed. And me and Sean said, 'Michael, do you want to see something cool?' We turned the dial to the porn channel and there were strippers shaking their [boobs] around. We were like, 'Michael, Michael, how cool is this?' We turned around and he was cringing, saying, 'Ooh, stop it, stop it, ooh, it's so silly.' We were like, 'Michael, you have to look, maybe you're not seeing it right, it's naked girls!' He was not down with the program whatsoever! I think he had really strong feminist views on porn. [Popwrap]

Charlotte, 30, fashion designer: Samantha's twin sister and sort-of socialite has her own line ("Charlotte C. Ronson"), and a Manhattan store. She graduated from NYU. She had a little run-in with Page Six years ago where she accidentally smacked her friend with her car and he needed over a hundred stitches, but hopefully those days are behind her. However, Page Six did say she recently avoided teenage soap star Leven Rambin at a party recently because she had made out with her brother, Mark. Guess Mark likes the young ones?