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After a long intro confirming both her stoner-film creds and her susceptibility to Mary-Kate Olsen's fashion influence, a new profile of actress Olivia Thirlby eventually got to the real news: Jack and Diane, Thirlby's long-gestating teen-lesbian-werewolf reunion with her Juno pal Ellen Page, will not be coming soon to a theater near you. We know, we know — a true shocker, but as Thirlby alludes, it's the kind of tough call that a young, sexually ambiguous Oscar-nominee just has to make:

"I mean, it's half-animated and nonlinear and Ellen's in a very high place right now and there's just too much focus on her and her career for her to be able to go off and do some super-experimental flick."

This is clearly a matter of dues-paying for both women — particularly for the non-conformist Page, whose "one for Ratner, one nonlinear girl-girl monster drama for me" is proving a tougher road to hoe than even her image-shaping, power-lesbian flack/Oscar date may have anticipated months ago. All we can recommend is for the ladies as the Jack and Diane window closes is to keep fighting the good fight; considering Thirlby's admitted luck with pot comedies, the film may be just one super-experimentally drug-dealing-werewolf subplot away from the green light they've so desperately awaited.

[Photo: Getty Images]