It is indeed like a letter in a porn magazine, but Penthouse is not the publication that comes to mind: "Nearly nine inches long and three inches thick, / A royal column, ineffably solemn and wise. / I tested its length and strength with a manual squeeze. / I bunched my fingers and twirled them about the knob. / I stroked it from top to bottom. I got on my knees. / I lowered my head. I opened my mouth for the job." [New York]