You might be indifferent to the Sex And The City movie, but across the country there are squads of women who care way, way too much about the film and who have already begun planning drunken, cackling rampages on opening night. Some women have commandeered jets to meet friends for the premiere; some of those will descend on New York. Once assembled, the teams will eat overpriced Asian fusion, yell at movie screens, terrorize nightclubs and, of course, consume near-lethal doses of cosmopolitans, according to a Times survey of scheduled tactical deployments. In the end, the streets will fill with vomit and desperate tears; your ears will ring with resigned sobs and frenzied mating shrieks. Here are a few of the specific horrors in store:

  • "Helen Malani, an online shopping expert [in Los Angeles]... has already bought seven tickets to an opening-night showing on May 30. One guest is coming from as far away as Arizona... the chance to 'hoot and holler' at the screen with a like-minded sisterhood has been lacking in her years of devotion to the series."
  • "In Vail, Colo., Bonnie Vesey plans to go one better, with cosmopolitans and an Asian fusion dinner party for 10 at the Beaver Creek resort before a 9 p.m. screening at a nearby theater... 'We're all going to dress fabulously... I'm the Kim Cattrall of the group.'"
  • "In Manhattan, On Location Tours sold out 300 tickets, at $130 each, for a special 10-hour tour of "Sex and the City" hot spots. The night peaks with a group viewing of the movie at a reserved theater auditorium in Midtown, followed by a party at a club in Chelsea."
  • "A spokesman for... an online ticket service said... 26 percent of those who responded planned to see the film 'with the whole gang.'"
  • "Approximately 20 'beautiful females have all decided to meet for the event starting at Mangia e Bevi then out for a stroll to the movies with our man Manhattan...'"

On the bright side, this will be a huge, huge money night for cat-sitters.

[Times]

(Photo via EveryStockPhoto)