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Social networking phenomenon Facebook, everyone's favorite online poke-orgy, was quickly adopted by Hollywood types. As such, buried inside its various features—its Status Updates, its "Wall-to-Wall" graffiti nonsense—there are thousands of showbiz stories just waiting to be discovered. We think of College Road Trip director Roger Kumble, who admitted he was "trying not to hit refresh on Rotten Tomatoes" the day reviews came out accompanied by their dreaded green splat. In that vein, we bring you a screengrab fresh off the home page of comic Orny Adams, best known for being the younger, hungrier ying to Jerry Seinfeld's richer-than-God yang in the stand-up doc Comedian. His status updates—one at 8:12 a.m., the next 6:50 p.m.—tell a whole Hollywood story unto themselves:

8:12am Orny is jetlagged and bummed his assistant forgot to put half and half in the fridge for his coffee.

6:50pm Orny is hiring a new assistant and looking for a new webpage designer to work with my current guy... someone hungry and creative.

Their dairy-replenishing duties having been shirked, it took Adams eleven hours to make the always painful decision to let his assistant go, drop the ax, then Status Update the world about it. Having dangled his modifiers, however, Adams was inundated with only hungry-assistant applications, resulting in the rest of the contents of his fridge soon going missing, as well. We hope his support-team woes are soon all in the past.