You may be surprised to discover that people are still remarking upon the existence of Tucker Max, the prototypical ex-frat boy who likes to drink beer and bang hot girls and then write a crazy blog about the aforementioned banging that will make you lose your shit, bro. I would have guessed that Tucker would have settled down into a quiet job selling insurance by now after either being disabled in a bar fight or having his genitals bitten off by an undercover feminist. Instead, somebody foolish is paying him actual money to make a movie called I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, scheduled for release next year. More importantly, a blogger who read the film's script is calling it one of the most unfunny productions in years, and has nailed Tucker Max to the wall so deftly we just know he's home right now trying out comeback lines in the mirror while flexing his biceps and getting progressively drunker: The personality summary:

Tucker Max is an asshole but the kind of asshole that all of his asshole friends love because his antics distract them from the thinning hair and gentle mediocrity that characterize their post-college years.

The victim's personality:

Most Tucker Max stories involve him doing or saying crazy/offensive things, getting into trouble for them, and then going home with one of those girls who, when a guy says something sort of awful to her, hits him on the shoulder and says "you asshole" but also smiles and sticks to him like glue for the rest of the night. My dad was nice to me, so I don't have this reaction, but I guess it takes all kinds.

The methodological analysis:

Invariably in Tucker's stories, someone gets pissed off and says his jokes aren't funny, and if that someone is a woman, she's dismissed as ugly and/or fat and therefore too bitter and angry to get the joke, while if that someone is a man, he's dismissed as being a meathead and therefore not cool or smart enough to get the joke. If you are confused by this last, let me clear it up for you: Tucker Max is unaware that he is the definition of a hazey, rapey, fratty meathead.

In the course of one paragraph, the author has summarized everything you will ever need to know about Tucker Max. The script-which, yes, involves midget sex-is called "Godawful" and "terrible" and many other things, although those two will suffice. We're looking into getting a copy of it ourselves; if you have one handy, email us. [Read the entire takedown by The Script Reader. Somebody inform Michael Ian Black that his nemesis is open to attack.]