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These times are difficult for everyone: Even if you don't actually need to curtail your spending, you're obliged to pretend that you do, and even if you went out of your way to marry rich, you're probably expected to dial down your profligacy a notch. But what about arguably the city's most important demographic group, single women? The glossy playground of Cosmos and Louboutins that Carrie Bradshaw enjoyed in the late '90s is but a distant memory, and today there's an entirely new reality to adapt to. As always, we're here to help: After the jump, some vital tips for unattached women who have been forced to count the pennies, but still want to participate in New York's notoriously cut-throat dating scene.

Hair
 We understand that going to the hairdresser every month costs a fortune, but we would never tell you to stop—life's depressing enough at the moment without split ends and inch-long roots. Our revolutionary proposal? Find a heterosexual hairdresser whom you can pay "in kind." (It's not prostitution if there are high-end hair products involved.) And, yes, there are a few straight stylists out there if you look hard enough.

Weight Loss
 Those Blueprint Cleanses that everyone pretends are for "detoxing" but are really for dropping ten pounds? Instead of paying hundreds of dollars for bottles of colored water, learn how to cultivate some Salmonella in a chicken, then settle in for some "purging." You'll be fully cleansed, and a whole dress size slimmer, in no time. (Note: There's a small chance of multiple organ failure with this approach; pursue at your own risk.)

Online Dating
 You've had a subscription to an online dating site for longer than you care to admit. Sure, you've gotten a handful of soul-sapping dates out of it, but do you really want to go out for another dinner with a balding accountant who lives with his mother and lies about his height but still acts like he's doing you a favor? Try Craigslist. It's free, and you don't have to post pictures. No, you won't know what you're getting, but embrace the unknown (and the, um, NSFW photos your inbox will fill up with), and rejoice at being freed from updating a breezy, witty, and not at all desperate-sounding profile.

Vision Correction
 Did vanity lead you to throw away your glasses years ago in favor of expensive disposable contact lenses? Our advice: Stop wearing them altogether, and get a unemployed gay boy to accompany you everywhere as your seeing eye dog. Everything will be a soothing blur, and he'll say you look fabulous no matter what.

Personal Grooming
 Unless you're a total masochist, you can't enjoy getting Brazilians, and the cost of all that waxing adds up. But we understand that men who were born after 1978 are under the impression that it's illegal for a woman to remove her clothes before being divested of most of what nature intended. Our solution: start sleeping with older men! Ones who might have started reading Playboy back when the models still had pubic hair and Hugh Hefner was a sprightly sexagenarian.

Of course, you could always just give up on finding love, stop obsessing about your appearance, get some cats, and join a book club. Just kidding: you obviously have to leave New York if that's what it's come down to.