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Did you know that a new MTV series, The City, debuted on Monday? Need to get up to speed on this exciting TV milestone and its significance for kids today? Thankfully, esteemed social chronicler David Patrick Columbia has popped his reality TV cherry and brought us a lengthy exegesis on Whitney Port and Olivia Palermo's tragic little show. "It's kinda like a soap opera looking for a plot," opines DPC sagely, "but don't let that worry you." Well, we'll try not to! What else? Oh yes, of course: Olivia, hitherto just another pretty face popping up on NYSD's party pictures, is "like an honest to god movie star," and "the biggest glamour-puss" onscreen. Gosh, this will almost—no, completely!—make up for the fact that according to everyone else, she revealed a unique talent for being unconvincing and repellent in the same moment. [NYSD]