Have you ever come across somebody who is ostensibly a "Writer/ Editor/ Educator," but doesn't seem to understand how those things work? [Name removed in the spirit of forgiveness] is just such a person! According her website she re-entered "the writing biz" in 2002, and has been keeping busy. She's even going to be writing a guest column in the Society of Professional Journalist's Quill magazine about "the importance of being one's own publicist." That's...uncomfortable, since her method is apparently to send the exact specifications for her stories out to a list of PR people, and then use whatever they come back with to "write" her "article." This is much more egregious than Profnet: A PR person writes to say, "I just wanted to point out the worlds laziest freelancer. she literally forwards her assignments to a list of publicists in a mass mailing and has them [write] the copy." Like this!:

Or, like this!:

Subject: Updating a feature in the works for NUVO magazine! Hi, everybody, Thanks to everyone who has helped so far with my second assignment for NUVO (my first is going to press and a teaser for it is now up at

www.nuvomagazine.com)

However, that said, the story needs help. Lucky for me, the editor is very specific about what he's looking for-check this out...I need responses as soon as possible, so please give me a shout if you have a client who will work. I have written a story about home design around tea and the tea house for the winter issue of NUVO, an extremely upscale magazine distributed in high-end spas and hotels, and via subscription and newsstand throughout North America. However, my editor wants me to expand on what I have already done and I will need the following, according to my editor: "Ultimately, we'd like the piece to be more home-design-oriented. Likewise, the notion of tea rooms and designing rooms around the notion of serving tea is definitely a highlight in the piece, and we'd like to expand a bit on that. So for a fix, here's what we're thinking: can you write a bit more about designing tea rooms, specifically, and insert it at start of the piece? It'll be along the same lines as people installing wine cellars and home lounges/ bars in their homes. Can you get quotes from a couple more designers/architects/interior design specialists who create tea rooms for private homes; similar to the home bars, we'll want to know who/what/how people are installing as tea rooms in their houses." I will probably be around this weekend fixing this and working on other things. If you can get to me this week with some ideas I would be most grateful! All thebest, [redacted]

Writer/Editor/Educator

[Freelancer]: when your entire list of "Testimonials" consists of PR people saying how great you are to work with, yet you're pissing off PR people enough for them to email us, it's time to rethink your methods.


UPDATE: Six years after this post ran, in the spirit of forgiveness, we have redacted the freelancer's name in this post.