Why is Cindy McCain speaking so slowly and making everyone at the Republican Convention pull embarrassed faces right now? Probably because there are two minutes and God-knows-how-many time-outs and commercial breaks left on the NFL season opener, threatening to keep red-blooded, football-loving Republicans and right-leaning Democrats away from John McCain's climactic speech, just as was feared. Go long, Cindy, go long! [via Wonkette]