Extorting the Bereaved: Now a Respectable Profession
In need of a new career, one that you don't have to be ashamed of, unlike your last job as a corporate attorney or investment banker? Why not become one of the highly trained operatives who pesters the bereaved to pay their dead loved ones' debts? Business is booming in this "newest frontier in debt collecting," because even though the recently-deceased's next of kin aren't legally obligated to pay outstanding Visa and cell phone bills, with a little prodding and tailor-made psychological manipulation, they often do.
At one deceased-debt firm in New Jersey, collectors are trained in the five stages of grief, so that if someone on the end of the phone is not in the right frame of mind to write a check, they're referred to a grief counselor—then called back a week later, by which point they've hopefully been coerced out of anger and denial and are ready for shaking down.
Meanwhile, at DCM Services in Minneapolis, agents are trained in "empathic active listening," which means pretending to care that someone's grandmother has just died while brainwashing them into agreeing to pay the $60 due on Granny's utility bill. For some reason such duties are experienced as stressful, but in order to assuage employees' self-loathing, DCM provides perks including yoga classes and a masseuse. Even so, about half the staff quit within a few months—which is one miniscule glimmer of hope, perhaps, that the human race is not totally doomed to hell.
