"Don't Touch Me!" Post Film Critic Slugs Ill Ebert
If someone at a film screening taps you a couple times on the shoulder asking you to move over so they can see, what do you do? If you're New York Post film critic Lou Lumenick, you haul off and hit them with your binder—and then realize that you just slugged Chicago Sun-Times film critic Roger Ebert, according to Rush & Molloy. Ebert can't speak, as he's been dealing with throat and thyroid cancer for years, so that explains the shoulder-tapping. But there's really no good explanation for Lumenick's hitting:
Soon after the lights went down, a source tells us, "a man in the audience started yelling, 'Don't touch me!' People looked around and shrugged. Ten minutes later, the voice yells again, 'I said don't touch me!'" ...But a few minutes later, says our source, "the guy stands up in the darkness and thwacks the guy behind him with a big festival binder. He hit him so hard everybody could hear it. Everyone freaked out and turned around." ...Though Lumenick seemed surprised to see whom he had struck, he offered no apology, according to another source.
