Newsday reporter Rocco Parascandola either drew the short straw at the assignment desk yesterday, or he sincerely believes that a five-year-old's opinion on the graffiti menace is worth 700 words. A mouthy little law-and-order kindergartener on Long Island got so worked up by an earlier Newsday story on taggers that he had his grandpa transcribe his tiny thoughts on the issue into a letter, which warranted another Newsday story, in which everybody comes off as monumentally stupid. Particularly Newsday:

"Graffiti is very bad, dude," he says. "I'm angry about it, all the way to 100 degrees."

Is there more?

And this: "Make sure those two people don't escape. Try to get every graffiti person out of the entire universe. Can you please tell the policemen they did good work?"

Rocco Parascandola's take:

There are no police officers in Christopher's family, though Christopher would seem to be the perfect candidate. Should recruitment officers get back to him in 16 years? Maybe...

Christ. [Newsday via Animal]