We're more than a little disappointed to find that nobody has yet uploaded any video, audio or any record whatsoever of Adam Sandler, Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen or Kevin James's stand-up sessions last Saturday at UCB. The quartet was concluding rehearsals MC Judd Apatow's forthcoming comedian opus Funny People, insights into which we'd gone all the way to Canada to retrieve as recently as July. Then we miss one night in Franklin Village and it's radio silence. Folks, step it up. We're serious. It's not a Beatles reunion or anything, but if we have to read abstractly about Hill biting it or Rogen defaulting to his imaginative zenith of airplane flatus, there's no reason we shouldn't be able to see or hear it in all its stumbling, meandering glory:

Throughout the show Apatow took movie pitches from the audience members. One member of the audience pitched a road trip movie based on Satre. [sic] The guy then said he traveled all the way from Salt Lake City to see the cast perform. Apatow quipped, ‘They’re going to find me dead after the show.’ Hill seemed the least experienced doing stand up, but still kept the crowd entertained. One of the highlights was a joke Rogen made about farting on airplanes. Apatow also suggested Sandler do a bit that he’d already done, leaving Adam to jab, ‘Some director you’re going to be.’ I would have liked to see Eric Bana do stand up. Otherwise, great night.”

/Film has a few more accounts from attendees, many of which seem potentially more successful than the performers themselves ("Can I get another cock joke, wash it down with a fart. Hey Yall we smoke weed? Thats just classic can’t go wrong with those time honored classics. Damn, my hand won’t stop making this wanking motion for some reason." ... "Energy was way down. Sandler didn’t seem too into it, he kept repeating 'Almost there'). So what next? The film is shooting somewhere over at Universal as we speak; get to stalking already, Defamer Ops! Apatow, Sandler, Rogen, Eric Bana and the rest will appreciate it in the long run — trust us.