Who Can Save Amy Winehouse? The Scientologists!
Sad little street fighter and sinew exhibit Amy Winehouse (pictured, left, in somewhat better days) should not blame her troubles with drugs and life and everything in it on deeply entrenched psychological angst, severe chemical imbalance, and self-doubt. Her soul has simply been stored in a volcano and shown feel-bad propaganda for the last few million years! Or whatever crap the Scientologists sell each other for tons and tons of money! Whew! In any case, they are reaching out to the haunted songstress in the hope of robbing her blind and turning her into a proselytizer for—er, that is, they are trying to save her.
The Church urged the singer to try its Narconon drugs programme, which it claims has helped hundreds of people kick their addiction, according to the Sunday Mirror. Winehouse is reportedly considering joining the group, which already counts Tom Cruise and John Travolta as members. "She had a call from the celebrity branch of the Church Of Scientology. She thinks they got her number through one of the American music producers who worked on her Back To Black album," said a source. It was recently claimed that Tom Cruise has given Kirsten Dunst a Scientology manual to help her through tough times.
