Pop-culture physicists have spent the last several years chasing the elusive TMZ Principle, which dictates that scraping through the bottom of the gossip barrel will in fact bring you right back to its newsy surface. While a recent dispatch about Emeril Lagasse's 'shroom-possessing brother-in-law was an admirable if failed attempt to prove the theory, Harvey Levin's tireless moles may have found the D-list breakthough we were waiting for:

David Crosby claims the only thing bigger than Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young was the genitalia Rob Lowe's nanny coveted.

Eureka! Polish up this year's Nobel — the revelations continue after the jump!

In a declaration filed in the case of Laura Boyce — the former Lowe nanny who claims she was sexually harassed — Crosby claims he went to Hawaii last year and spent some time with the Lowes and Boyce. He claims during the trip, Boyce "stated on several occasions that she only dates 'black guys' because of their 'c**ks.'" In another declaration, Heather Melchiori, another friend of the Lowes, says last year, while having lunch with Sheryl Lowe, "Laura began bragging about the size of her boyfriend's penis. Laura said that her boyfriend was an African American athlete." She add that Laura bragged that "her boyfriend's penis was 'the second largest black c**k in the NBA.'" And for good measure, Melchiori adds it was so big, Laura "had to wear a 'life saver' so that his penis didn't 'rip her p***y apart."

"Rip her party apart?" That doesn't even make sense! So case closed and theory proven — thanks, David!