We knew George Lucas had a taste for franchise-rape, but our relatively proscribed imaginations prevented us from conjuring the horror of Lucas and accomplice Steven Spielberg forcibly tag-teaming Indiana Jones not once, not twice, but three times in 30 minutes. But that's what South Park is for, we guess, where the mandate to get tanked on Crystal Head Vodka™ and crossbreed cinema's most notorious rape scenes with Indy's own violation was thriving nicely in last night's episode. We've culled one-third of the NSFW nightmare for your viewing pleasure after the jump; expect the filmmakers' "He was asking for it" defense to arrive here later in the day. [Comedy Central]