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Ever wish you could look like the Real Housewives of New Jersey? Or, more likely, wish you could look nothing like the Real Housewives of New Jersey? Well, W gets to the bottom of the tanning, botoxing, buffing, and spackling routines of Caroline, Danielle and Dina (who, along with Teresa and Jacqueline, put on quite the table-throwing season finale last night). Mimic or avoid at your own discretion.

Mama Bear Caroline, with her short shag, has the least high-maintenance routine, eschewing fake tans ("You can't move, you can't sweat. Too much maintenance") and fake boobs, but embracing fake nails, thrice weekly work outs and a trim every six weeks. Little sis Dina spends the majority of her grooming time on her blond mane, getting weekly highights and a blowout. Her home pilates machines, the Reformer and the Tower, go unused and she drives to private classes three times a week.

The primpiest of the bunch, Danielle, has a stated, and visually obvious, love of collagen and botox, but she's become more frugal of late, scaling back on monthly trips to Manhattan day spa SoHo Sanctuary for facials (Though she would really like you to know, her former facialist also works on "Madonna, Diane Sawyer, Katie Couric."). The economy has not yet forced her to give up eyelash extensions, which she has discovered since the show finished taping, or botox, though she is getting a smidge concerned about the wrinkle remover's effect. "I love it, but I'm beginning to think maybe they're doing a little too much to my forehead," she explains. "Because I've heard people saying some pretty negative things." Danielle likely tried to look concerned while saying this, but, surely, her immobile face made it difficult.

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