The Dow finished lower again today and could get below the psychologically important 8,000 mark this week. Wait—there's a show about privileged, beautiful people on? Peace out, troubles! WATCH Gossip Girl [8 PM, CW] - Jenny (throat-bacteria victim, Taylor Momsen) befriends a model who convinces her to buck up professionally and let loose in her personal life. Serena and Dan go to an art opening as friends but things get weird when Serena meets an artist who strikes her fancy. Meanwhile, Blair attempts to seduce all-time genius Chuck. No one looked or talked like this at our high school, but we probably drank as much as them.The Hills [10 PM, MTV] - Details of tonight's episode are pretty hard to find, but we're 100% sure Spencer will still be acting like a douche. Also, Lauren Conrad appears on the After Show to deflect direct questions.

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno [11:30 PM, NBC] - Tune in tonight to see Jay Leno make benign, lighthearted conversation with Michelle Obama, Chris Rock and former Blowfish Darius Rucker. The ultra-rare African-American guest trifecta is reason enough to endure the monologue. TiVo

Dancing With the Stars [8 PM, ABC] - Your sheet-soaking dreams become reality as Cloris joins the other contestants in their first team performance - a hip-hop number! Michael Flatley guest judges. We think Lucci is just mad because Ms. Leachman ate all of her VIACTIV Soft Chews. Late Show with David Letterman [11:35 PM, CBS] - Another potential showdown looms as Bill O'Reilly makes the latest stop on his tour of terror. If The Hills and The Hills After Show weren't enough, then hang on for another installment of Dave creeping on L.C. KILL One Tree Hill [9 PM, CW] - Lucas (Chad Michael Murray) is surprised when his book starts getting attention. Brooke (Sophia Bush) finds a new admirer. We would watch just about anything in the euphoric afterglow of Gossip Girl, but the threat of seeing even a second of OTH has us pressing the GUIDE button while Kristen Bell is still wrapping it all up.

17 Kids and Counting [10 PM, TLC] - Another entry in the "parents who have difficulty managing their large families" genre (Jon & Kate Plus 8, Supernanny, The Brady Bunch), Jim Bob and Michelle, former high school sweethearts from Arkansas, manage their 17 children. This week, Joshua, Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jeremiah, Jedidiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah and newborn Jennifer switch chores. Even if the A-storyline is bad, the H-storyline usually saves the episode, though it might not save you from jumping into traffic.