Did you expect that celebrities would all turn their attention to the election last night, and therefore the tabloids would refrain from printing scurrilous blind items on this day of historic import? You foolish, foolish bastard. Gossip does not "Change," nor does it "Hope." After the jump, an actor with a secret history of sexual assault, a fading socialite, a singer with dandruff, and a (possibly flack-concocted) item about the nicest actress in the whole wide world: 1) "WHICH aggressive TV, stage and movie actor has a shady past? Rumor is he sexually assaulted a girl while in high school and his family had the situation "swept under the rug" [P6] 2) "WHICH oft-photographed socialite/designer is losing her grip on the fashion world? Luxury brands no longer send her clothing and accessories and don't want her in their ad campaigns." [P6] 3) "Which popular male singer is hiding a hairy secret? His dandruff has got so bad, his flunkies are having to go out and buy him industrial strength supplies of special shampoo..." [Mirror UK] 4) "A list actress. Hell, she isn't just an actress, she is also a producer and a very successful one at that. About three months ago our actress was in downtown LA and was headed for dinner. She saw a family that was huddled about 50 feet from the restaurant. Obviously homeless, the dad had a sign while the mom watched their two children. Our actress could have just gone into her dinner, but, instead walked over to the family and started asking them about their life. It was during this that one of her dinner companions also showed up at the restaurant. Through no fault of their own this family was stuck. This actress could have walked away, but instead she canceled her dinner plans, got the family to a hotel and got them some food. Over the course of the next week she found them a place to live, hired the husband for her company, helped the mom get the kids in school and found a job for the mom as well." [CDaN]