Today marks the first time older-lady (and oddly capitalized) website wowOwow has actually contributed something important to the Internet. They tracked down Linda Tripp! You know, the grouchy lady who ratted out Monica Lewinsky's blow-job confessions. She's running a craft store in Virginia. It's called Christmas Sleigh, and features—we assume this is a Freudian slip on behalf of wowOwow's writers—"mouth-blown and hand-painted ornaments." They asked her opinion on Obama, and she responded—bizarrely, of course—via e-mail:Quoth Tripp,

"That said, I believe President-elect Obama possesses an instantly recognizable purity of soul that, coupled with his brilliance, and, of course, his eloquence, brought quite unimaginable and long-awaited magic to the country, transforming red and blue states, quite literally, into ‘The Color Purple."

That is all one sentence, folks.