No One Can Afford Anything But Spam
The worse things get in America, the lower the quality of the meat we're willing to consume. Hormel's favorite whatzit Spam is preparing to survive the recession quite well, says the NYT, even allowing some of its employees to purchase televisions! As real Spam flies off the shelves, profits from virtual spam are on the decline. Tasty, salty, injected-with-something Spam is slighter better than having to delete an unwanted e-mail from your inbox, you have to admit:The Minnesota factory is working seven days a week to churn out the product that even someone unemployed can afford and enjoy:
"People are realizing it’s not that bad a product," said Dan Johnson, 55, who operates a 70-foot-high Spam oven. ...Because it is vacuum-sealed in a can and does not require refrigeration, Spam can last for years. Hormel says "it’s like meat with a pause button."
The benefits aren't limited to Hormel employees — the Times is more than willing to patronize the people who buy it. We'll guess that the fact-checker didn't exactly call a Wal-Mart in Cleveland to check this detail:
A rising segment of the public, it seems, does have a taste for Spam, which is available in several varieties, including Spam Low Sodium, Spam with Cheese and Spam Hot & Spicy. James Bate, a 48-year-old sausage maker, was buying it at Wal-Mart in Cleveland recently. Not only was it cheap, but he said it brought back fond memories of his grandfather’s making him Spam sandwiches. "You can mix it with tomatoes and onions and make a good meal out of it,” he said. "A little bit of this stuff goes a long way."
Although at $3.20 a pound, Spam isn't that cheap, but it lasts forever and requires substantially less preparation than anything short of popcorn. And since there's no waste, you can save the money to buy that $65 Spam costume you've always wanted.