Brad Pitt still has some work to do in New Orleans before he can attend to those areas of America hardest hit by the ravages of UncoolGate. Meanwhile, the woman who started it all—this week's EW covergirl, Jennifer Aniston—emerges a stronger woman, if forever a far less trusting magazine-profile subject:

"I was just surprised that Vogue would go so tabloid," she says, insisting the so-called slam was taken out of context. "I was bummed. But you almost expect it. Big deal. Done. Next."

"Surprised that Vogue would go so tabloid?" Really, Jennifer? The same Vogue who hired Sean "Sloppy Seconds" Avery as their summer intern even though editor-in-chief Miranda Priestly knew damn well the left winger could barely tell his Proenza Schoulers from his Yigal Azrouëls? Next time don't get played so easily, silly girl— Vogue lives for high drama, and you delivered it to them on an uncool silver platter. You just think about that while we go into the other room and watch some ESPN, because we're feeling really, really gay.