Everyone knows that girls can't metabolize their alcohol like boys! That's why they're always staggering out of Mansion at 4 a.m., vomiting, crying, and curling up on the sidewalk like baby deer. In the last ten years, the ones who didn't drink much are now drinking, and the ones who already drank are drinking more, reports New York Mag. Their article on women and drinking is basically a public service announcement: What is happening to America's girls?

The factors: stress, crazy jobs, keeping up with the boys, postwar equality ("As women ‘immigrated' into the culture that was once unique to men," says [a professor], "they picked up a lot of the same mores and attitudes and behaviors and ideas about what is socially acceptable that men had previously held.")

Not all of my female friends drink like Kate, but most of them do drink-and not just in a glass-of-wine-with-dinner way. Drinking is our go-to activity. Meeting a friend implies going to a bar. Having a meal implies a round of cocktails beforehand. A party implies a serious hangover. Drinking feels like our prerogative-if we want to get blasted at the company Christmas party or nurse a bottle of scotch through the holidays, no one should, or can, stop us.

Well... yeah! Is this wrong?

OH and then they quote an IM conversation (an IM conversation made into a blog post!) between "two editors at [our sister site] Jezebel.com":

"FEMINIST ONE: You would be proud of me. I drank alone last night!

FEMINIST TWO: I am proud! I should have called you. I was too drunk.

FEMINIST ONE: I opened a bottle of wine-a good bottle that I had been saving-poured some into a juice glass, and watched The Age of Love. My dad called, and he was like, "You know that drinking doesn't solve things long-term?" And I was like, um, that's a lie.

FEMINIST TWO: Hahahaha!

FEMINIST ONE: I know. I was so serious too.

FEMINIST TWO: Yeah, it solves things long-term, as long as you commit to drinking.

FEMINIST ONE: I told him booze was no different from Klonopin and it's cheaper!

Unless you get the Klonopin generic!

"And so alcohol is our choice to soothe us in times of trouble, celebrate with us in times of joy, engage us in times of boredom. We use it to change our mood, to forget our problems, to give us courage, to access some essential, uncensored, better self," the article concludes, which means: OK, so, women like to drink for more-or-less the same reasons men like to drink! Is that so wrong? Please drink and metabolize your alcohol responsibly, everyone. Or whatever.