Are you a Republican who feels some sort of responsibility to aid in the creation of a whitewashed false memory of an uneventful, maybe mildly successful Bush presidency? Yes? Then the White House has a memo for you!

Titled "Speech Topper on the Bush Record," the talking points state that Bush "kept the American people safe" after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, lifted the economy after 2001 through tax cuts, curbed AIDS in Africa and maintained "the honor and the dignity of his office."

The document presents the Bush record as an unalloyed success.

Of course it does. Just a few short months ago, as the presidential campaign was underway, no Republicans had any kind words for the outgoing president. The single nicest tribute to the man from roughly January through November of this year came from Oliver Stone. But, post-election, post-John McCain, mid-Sarah Palin, Republicans are grudgingly, mildly complimentary of the inept man-child president they used to love.

The nice thing about the Republican media machine is that they generally repeat their talking points verbatim instead of, like, reworking them to sound original. So we'd imagine you'll find the full text of the memo end up in one or more of your local daily's syndicated right-wing columns by the end of the week. Peggy Noonan kicked things off last Friday with the column whose headline you can see above!

Yes, at least Bush kept us safe. Not counting 9/11. And also not counting Katrina, because he only kept us safe from terrorists, not faulty levees or anything.