Paula Abdul's Tchochke-Pimping/Fan-Suicide Post Morteming World Tour landed in the Late Show hot seat last night, where Dave—a stalkee's rights activist if ever there was one—advocated on behalf of the Idol judge.

He makes a good case. The fact that Paula had been followed by her obsessive fan for 17 years didn't seem to dissuade producers from trotting Goodspeed in front of the Idol firing line, placing her safely within Paula biting distance for her ear-splitting rendition of "Proud Mary." The video package that followed—in which a suspense movie soundtrack underscored her repeated promise that, "It's not over"—hardly de-escalated the situation. Despite the best efforts of gleeful instigator Letterman, however, Paula shied away from his proposal of suing Idol and Fox into the ground.

For something a little more festive, we offer now Paula's toy soldier entrance—perhaps the single most frightening choreographed approximation of a plaything to appear on our sets since Marie Osmond's Babydoll Dance of Despair.

[Late Show]