Greg Gutfeld, the constantly gay-panicked meathead host of Fox's late-night Red Eye show, is miffed that Fox & Friends anchor Steve Doocy won't answer his friend request.

Greg, sorry to break it to you, but you're a little late with your request. Didn't you hear Doocy is maxed out on Facebook friends, having hit the site's limit? Gutfeld is also having viewers place bet on who will answer his friend requests the fastest. He calls it "facebetting." I think the guy's doing this wrong. Here's a cheat sheet out of Silicon Valley on the optimal way to use Facebook for cynical self-promotion.