Popular Defamer subject John Mayer spoke up on his own blog yesterday with a bit of advice for all the epidemically abusive gossips out there: If you must insult him, learn from the best.

In this case it's Don Rickles:

[T]here's one element that has always gone missing in the new era of dissery, and perhaps it's the most important part of the game. It's what's given Rickles the room to move with almost diplomatic immunity through cultural stereotypes and sensitivities: that effusive smile, the "not really", and most importantly, the implicit "me too". It's what has given Rickles both his edge and his charm for over five decades, and its absence in today's gossip media is what will soon lead to a population tired of it. At Rickles' recent performance at Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut, he made Perez Hilton look like a sycophant. [...]

Mark my words: the gossip-monger whose style closest resembles that of Don Rickles' mastery of tension and release will stay successful the longest. Because the salient rules of entertainment will always apply. And Don Rickles should know, because he helped write them.

Fair enough, John! And, if and when Rickles appears on the Emmys or The View, we'll even let him take over for a while.