The Slapfight Heard 'Round The World remains the preeminent myth of this year's festival, thanks in part to a dramatization featuring Jeff "The Dude" Dowd and Black Dynamite star Michael Jai White.

The creative team at Movie City News contributed this reenactment to the burgeoning legend, with Dowd as himself and White as John Anderson, the Variety critic who deflected Dowd's publicity advances on Wednesday with four softly placed blows to the shoulder and face. It's a flattering testament to Anderson's pugilism that a man who once played Mike Tyson went all Method-y in the simulated beatdown; not so much for Dowd, whose lumbering, laconic presence confirms a mismatch that anyone but him apparently could have seen coming. Publicity stunts aside, we'd much prefer a cameo by White's fellow Sundancer Tom Hardy, whose fist-flying turn in Bronson is precisely the kind of persuasion tactic that filmmakers need in this hyper-competitive environment. As opposed to Jackie Martling, another featured player whom we still can't believe is here despite the videotaped proof above.