Nobody outside the Valley knows much about Symantec CEO John Thompson, the frontrunner to be the next Secretary of Commerce. But if anyone Googles the software chief, they'll get an eyeful.

The top ad on Google right now for "John Thompson" advertises "German Goo Girls Extreme," and links to a site whose name we shall politely decline to mention but which describes a hardcore sexual fetish.


What does this have to do with the tightly laced Thompson, an IBM lifer before he joined Symantec, and a prominent Obama fundraiser whose name came up for the cabinet post after New Mexico governor Bill Richardson dropped out?

It turns out he shares a first and last name with porn merchant John Thompson, who specializes in producing videos devoted to a particular kink.

What's really sad? One would think the head of a company whose software defends the world computers against Russian mobsters, Bulgarian hackers, and Chinese script kiddies would have a good story to tell, but one would be wrong. Thompson gives stultifying interviews. This is by far the most interesting thing that has ever, or will ever, be written about him.