Here is some important non-pork spending news from your stimulus bill:

The deal provides $8 billion for high-speed rail projects, for example, including money that could benefit a controversial proposal for a magnetic-levitation rail line between Disneyland, in California, and Las Vegas, a project favored by Senate Majority Leader Harry M. Reid (D-Nev.). The 311-mph train could make the trip from Sin City to Tomorrowland in less than two hours, according to backers.

Money for rail transit: yay! Money to build a 300-mph monorail from Vegas to Disneyland: fuck you! Fuck you, Harry Reid, and fuck you, Mickey Mouse.

What's the MTA's budget shortfall looking like right now? They're cutting service and raising fares and "The Second Avenue Subway" will never, ever happen, and you're shipping old suckers from Main Street, U.S.A. to the slots in two hours.

The "high-speed" train from Boston to New York to DC run at about 45-mph half the trip and costs more than a fucking plane ticket and you are building a 300-mile shuttle bus from the Criss Angel show at the Luxor to your car in the Donald Duck lot.

Will Joe the Biden please visit Harry Reid and punch him in his face for us? Or at least talk at him until he gives up?