Happy V-Day, dicklickers. Obviously I'm working today and obviously you're on the internet. So boo-hoo for both of us. If you're staying in tonight like me, but want some sexy-time, here are movie suggestions.

L'Auberge Espagnole
 About a young Frenchman's study abroad experience in Spain. This isn't really a romance per se—I mean, there's kissing and sex and stuff, but it's not the main focus. But you will swoon at the locations and the sexy accents and feel 20 years old and adventurous again. A real delight.

Maurice
 A Merchant Ivory weepy about British school chums who are secret homos. It's stuffy and terribly British, but with an undercurrent of raw, wild abandon. If you see only one movie this year about Hugh Grant being a floppy, charming prick, make it this one.

Swimming Pool
 A curious, strange psychosexual thriller starring the queen of curious, strange psychosexual thrillers, Charlotte Rampling. She's half the sexy draw here, the other half being the little old gardener man. Kidding. It's Ludivine Sagnier as the bratty, coitus-crazed daughter of Rampling's editor. A creeper.

The Talented Mr. Ripley
 You've probably all seen this, but if one of you hasn't, please rent it. In my mind it's Anthony Minghella's best film. And if you don't find Jude Law, Matt Damon, Cate Blanchett, Gwyneth Paltrow, or Jack Davenport (or, I guess, James Rebhorn) sexy, then the Italian locales alone should get your delicates in a bundle. Sure there's lots of scary murder and stuff but... oh well. If you've seen this already, Minghella's over-criticized-of-late The English Patient is also a swooner.

A Very Long Engagement
 France. World War I. The adorable Audrey Tautou. Her wonderful Amelie director, Jean-Pierre Jeunet. It's all delightful, funny, and sad. But best of all is Gaspard Ulliel. Marvel and wonder "can that actually be a real person?"


So those are my choices. Not really any American movies, I guess. You could, I dunno, rent Bull Durham or something if you want a local pick.

Happy day.