Remember John Edwards, the Southern Gentleman whose lifelong dream of being President Hillary Clinton's veep was ruined when he admitted a marital affair? The National Enquirer continues to torment the has-been politician.

The tabloid's big story, which must be paid attention to because the Enquirer totally called the affair thing, so who knows, is that Edwards told his "DYING WIFE" Elizabeth he really is the father of his mistress' kid, despite what he told her and ABC News and America all of six months ago, when he admitted the affair.

Since Edwards once denied said affair, he is a liar, so it's entirely plausible he lied to everyone's face six months ago about the kid not being his.

Also plausible, given that Edwards is a liar: He just told the mistress, Rielle Hunter, that he leveled with his wife about their love child, since she's been pressuring him to admit everything, and since the mistress is also maybe threatening to reveal all in her secret forthcoming book.

Also plausible: The Enquirer hasn't been able to obtain any Edwards saliva for its big plan to test his DNA against the DNA from his purported love child's poopy-diapers, which it has, so it's relaxed its sourcing standards a bit to come up with some actual news.