If there were a script called Wet Dreams about a failed Michael Phelps-type, co-written by fruitini-drinkin' Hud Morgan, would you want to buy it? He and his friend hope someone will.

Because the brawling former Men's Vogue editor (and Leven Rambin dater) has submitted, along with his old coworker Michael Mraz, a pitch letter for just such a film. I guess they came up with the idea while out of work after MV folded in October.

It's about a Phelpsian character who, unlike that dolphin of the deep, doesn't get off so easy after getting caught up in a drug scandal. His swimming career in tatters, he becomes a local lifeguard. New York has gotten a hold of the pitch:

What if Michael Phelps' punishment for being caught with the smoking bong was a summer sentence as a lifeguard at a water park? Tyler Hartwell is about to find out. When America's up-and-coming swimming phenom falsely tests positive for steroids on the eve of his biggest race ever, he loses everything, including his agent, girlfriend, and sponsors - and is forced to spend an endless SoCal summer lifeguarding at Wet Dreams Water Park: The Wettest Place on Earth.

The pair go on to describe the film as a "cannonball of comedy" (in that it painfully blows your head off?), full of romance and intrigue and lots of jokes about people cumming in their pants in the still of the night. This can't possibly be the only Phelps/Weedgate script in the works, can it?

If you or anyone you know is also working on one, let us know.