Today we have a poorly-endowed hip hip star, a cocaine crazed Brit, a cocaine crazed American, and a singer/actor couple who want to make a (sure-to-be-terrible) movie together.

1) "Which hip-hop icon gets laughed at when he strips down at the gym? Guysin the locker room can't believe it's that small." [NYDN]

2) "Which British celeb has just signed up for a brand new "chopper" - a platinum credit card used to cut her cocaine? She proudly carries it in her designer purses." [Mirror]

3) "We have a C list actress on a middling ensemble drama. I say middling because it does so-so in the ratings, but nothing that people are dying to see. Anyway, our actress got into a fender bender. She wasn't hurt, but the car was totaled. She was shaken up about the accident. So much so that she left some baggies of white powder in her car when it was towed to a repair shop. Freaking out when she got home about where she may have left the baggies, she called the repair shop and said the following. 'Hi, this is _________. My car was towed there earlier today. I think I left my coke in there though. Would you go check and see if it is there? It is in the center console.'" [CDaN]

4) "This real-life celebrity couple wants to make a movie together. One member of this couple is an actor, the other is in music, and one is a bigger name than the other. The movie would be a remake of a classic film. Problem is, the music-maker actually thinks that they can act. They can't. Someone who saw the audition called it 'The most godawful performance I've ever seen by anyone, anywhere, ever.'" [BlindGossip]