The Way We Live Now: Illiquidly. Forget "banks" or "cash." The government has nothing. It's everyone for themselves now. Even the Gotti family is dumping its worldly goods and stockpiling sweet, sweet cows.

What's politely called a "budget gap" and can be more accurately described as "Just how broke we are," here in America, now stands at $1.8 trillion. And rising! That is broke.

Only a fool would trust a broke ass government like that to back up its "cash" and "investments." Smarter global citizens know only what you can hold in your hand, like a gun, for example, will serve you well now. Russia is just sitting around stockpiling diamonds and waiting for the time when prices go up, and in the meantime, probably stockpiling guns, as well.

In France, their economic "safety net" now consists of cows. Hey, it worked for India.

The point is that it's not about flashing your wealth any more; conspicuous consumption will only make you an easier target for the rampaging socialist chicken-deprived mobs. Nobody knows that better than the Gotti family, which is why they wisely got themselves evicted from their Long Island mansion. Now they're free to move into smaller, more anonymous surroundings, and wait this thing out. With a large, undeclared herd of cows, that fell off a truck.