Craiglist has kicked the prossies from its pages. So where's a working girl or man to go to hawk themselves off on the cheap? Oh, I have an idea: journalismjobs.com and the Hamptons.

Although to be fair, if you do it for free that just makes you a slut, not a whore, a distinction your mother taught me. Just playin' boo. But seriously, maybe col.intel should just call up this kid, he's probably not up to much this summer.