OK guys, can it with the "Bristol Palin: high school dropout" jokes. The eldest girl spawn of Alaskan governor Sarah graduated from Wasilla Upstairs Learning Academy last night. People magazine was there.

They watched as the 19-year-old mother—she has an out-of-wedlock son named Tripp with a beautiful, bewildered shaved bear who plays ice hockey—crossed the stage, finishing school with a 3.497 GPA, only "point zero-zero-something" marks away from graduating with honors.

As for the big, bright, snowy future, Bristol plans on getting a two-year business degree at the Wasilla University Annex, then going into real estate. She'll sell igloos to Eskimos and, I dunno, piles of logs to beavers or something.

A tip of the mortarboard to you, young Ms. Palin! May the rest of your life unfold as perfectly as your past did. Wait. No. Scratch that.

Oh, and, incidentally, my favorite comment from the People article: