Well, that didn't go well at all. One episode and several crying jags/smacking-water-bottles-out-of-Frangela's-hands later, Heidi and Spencer from The Hills have quit the disastrous reality series I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Outta Here!. Mostly because it's "not a nice show." Plus Heidi got bug bites.

The clip at left should really tell you all you need to know about what had happened. Prepared to rule the roost of abysmally sad celebrities (Lou Diamond Phillips... why?), Spencer declared himself the "King of America" while his wife made weird jokes and said things about Jesus. Their antics, though, were met with either indifference or anger from the other contestants and, upon finding that living in the Costa Rican jungle is not very much like perching one's skinny, champagne-filled behind on a Les Deux banquette, the pair reportedly stormed off the set, never to return.

It's a shame, in a very very small way, because Heidi and Spence were really the only remotely interesting things about last night's premiere episode. As much as we do so love Stephen Baldwin and that one lady who used to wrestle once, we don't imagine we'll stick around to see what happens.

Update: Or, um... Maybe the reason they left the show, or why Spencer did at least, is because they're not actually reality stars. TMZ has an account from a person who was on the Costa Rican set and recounted the following story:

...just before quitting the show, Spencer screamed at producers, "If you give me a script, I'll do what you want. I'm not a reality star. I'm on 'The Hills.'"

Spencer clarified with the following: "I'm a TV producer and a character."

Hm. "I'm not a reality star. I'm on 'The Hills.'" Man oh man does that say it all about... it all.