Well here's 2011's must-have beach read—Dick Cheney has signed a deal to write a memoir for Simon & Schuster's Threshold Editions, the company's conservative imprint which recently published books by Lynne Cheney, Glenn Beck and Mark Levin.

The legendarily secretive Cheney said he was motivated to write a book because he's got lots of wacky stories to tell, stories that even liberals should read so that they could educate their stupid selves.

In a telephone interview Tuesday with The Associated Press, the 68-year-old Cheney noted that he had never written a book about his years in government, which dates back to the 1960s.

"I'm persuaded there are a lot of interesting stories that ought to be told," Cheney said. "I want my grandkids, 20 or 30 years from now, to be able to read it and understand what I did, and why I did it."

Cheney said his book will reflect his conservative outlook, but that he has no plans to write "a screed" and sees no reason why liberals shouldn't want to read it, "because it covers some of very interesting and important events in our recent history.

"I would hope it has an appeal to anyone who has an interest in these developments," Cheney said.

Financial details were not disclosed but it is believed that Cheney got an advance of around $2 million. And to think that he didn't even have to start a Tumblr to get it. Or did he?

Cheney Writes a Memoir [Breitbart]
Pic via Mario Piperni