Unlike former Presidents, former Vice Presidents don't get Secret Service protection. (No one's ever gonna take a shot at Quayle.) Except one! A certain mean old man still gets a taxpayer-funded security detail.

It's Dick Cheney! For some reason, former Vice President's Secret Service protection has been extended, though no one knows for how long. Also: these extensions must be approved by the commander in chief, so Obama is protecting Cheney from someone. Or maybe he is protecting all of us from Dick Cheney?