A major challenge in Harry Potter 6 is that the teenage wizard had the ability to get a boner. So how did the kid-friendly franchise deal with the prickly issue of teenage sexuality? Splendidly! But perhaps in an unintended direction.

Hogwarts is a hormonal hothouse! Wizards are snogging in the halls, winking at each other during Potions class, and they're even abusing their powers to seduce other supple wizards. Director David Yates did a fantastic job capturing the sexual tension that must throb through any kind of co-ed castle. But because the most troublesome part of teen sexuality is the idea of a loose lady wizard most of the innuendos and flirtation stayed between the boys. And so in the tradition of British boarding schools things got a little gay.

Here's a breakdown (spoiler free):

Ron adores Harry, naturally. Ron's always been uneasy around girls and it was chalked up to the fact that he's clumsy goof. But in the sixth installment, Ron has become a bit of a strapping butch boy and he starts to get noticed by the girls. He plays along but really only lights up when he is around Harry. His supposed crush on Hermione is as lustful as nursing home bingo game. But when Harry's in the room, Rupert Grint, who plays Ron, blushes, grins, his shoulders roll back and hips sway forward when he talks to Harry.

Daniel Radcliffe who has always played Harry a little fey, undulates and titters around Ron. At a quidditch tryout Ron needs to impress Harry in order to make the team. Harry's eyes stayed locked on Ron as he straddles a broom. When Ron succeeds in blocking a score from the opposing team, Ron leans back on his broom, clutches the broom at its base and points it in Harry's direction. Harry beams. It is a giant phallic broomstick in between his legs! C'mon people!

Also, there is a lot of touching and affection between the male teachers of Hogwartz and the boys. Whether it's Snape, (Alan Rickman looks like a New Wave lesbian in a cape) who continually pushes his chest into Harry's face. Or Professor Slughorn who longs for Harry's attention and who Harry essentially seduces for information. Or Dumbledore, with his feminine affectation is such an obvious old queen.

There's a whole closed cabinet/closed motiff too! At one point, Dumbledore confronts a young Voldemort about a literal flaming box of secrets in his closet!

And even though Rowling has revealed that Dumbledore was in fact a gay, the homoeroticism that was on the screen is absent in the books. Hell, I don't even think it was in the script. The young male actors are bubbling over with sexual energy and had nowhere to point it so they pointed it at each other.


P.S. I also think Radcliffe is gay as all get out! There, I said it.

(Top pic via TheGreatGeekManual, Time cover mash-up by our pals at Vulture)