Putin Shirtless Again
57-year-old Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin once again released to the public 20 pictues of him being super-manly, riding horses shirtless and walking along a river on a camping trip.
According to the Times of London:
The photos will inevitably trigger mass swooning by women all over Russia - as well as unfavourable comparisons of their husbands to Mr Putin's manly physique. They will also confirm the Russian Prime Minister's status as a gay icon.
Yes, well, you said it.
On his virility-proving camping trip, Putin also rode a mini-submarine to the bottom of Lake Baikal and attached a tracking device to a whale. During Obama's trip to Russia, Putin dressed in black and bragged of performing a wheelie on a motorcycle with a local biker gang. "He has also been shown co-piloting a fighter jet and shooting a tiger."
Observers say these comically extreme demonstrations of archaic tropes of virile masculinity suggest that the despotic ruler of Russia is a quirky Wes Anderson surrogate father figure and Russia is his shiftless, emotionally damaged Wilson brother/Jason Schwartzman. Russian state-owned television is expected to edit the camping trip footage into a quirky montage scored by something from the Nuggets box.