Ousted founder of Vimeo, the Original Fameball, and now pointedly crazy internet personae Jakob Lodwick has finally written the definitive treatise on how to deal with the pressures he's experienced from "a prominent online gossip publication." And it's not terrible!

Lodwick's potential swan song goes like this:

1. I'm okay.
2. Sometimes, being made fun of stings.
3. I acknowledge being stung, and move forward emotionally.
4. I compensate for being stung intellecually by writing off the stingers as perpetually unhappy downers.
5. Tone it down, prominent online gossip publications. You're fucking with the potentially advantageous harmony of the universe.
6. You make fun of weird people, but weird people are special, and you are mean.

Or to quote Lodwick:

Most people do not have my resilience. Eccentrics are delicate and need room to grow. Perhaps a gentler or more balanced approach to telling stories of our lives is in order. An attitude of "these guys are crazy but we love ‘em anyway" might be better for everyone than today's apparent mission: "destroy the weirdos".

Maybe he's correct! There's nothing wrong with eccentrics. They're enjoyable. And so are Lodwick's ridiculous exploits: in the same way a newscaster needs news to thrive, Lodwick's been giving us - spoon-feeding us - solid material for two years strong, now. In fact, one week ago was the two year anniversary of our first "Jakob Lodwick" tagged post!

It all started wayback in August of 2007, when the O.G. of Fameballing started dating Julia Allison, who, over the course of her career, has had few reservations about sacrificing herself on the altar of dignity in older to get a little publicity. She's now on MTV, so you can't say she didn't get the job done. Around that time:

"I believe I am an early-stage Fameball, and nothing I do or say will change my trajectory. I will attempt to use this to my advantage," Vimeo founder and Star Editor At Large Julia Allison doinker Jakob Lodwick has been quoted as saying.

And so it was. Lodwick was ousted from the company he started and hit the bong for us all to see. He claimed he was going to act like a normal human being. And then, after trying to start his own record label, is now aiming for New Museum-esque fame with videos like these:

Jealousy from Odwick.com on Vimeo.

And proclamations about how "cool" he is, like these:

I thought I was joking when I said I was so cool for being oblivious to the Super Bowl. But last night after dinner and a dance [sic] performace, quietly walking through the [sic] streetes of Manhattan and fearing for my safety in light of hundreds of screaming, drunken brutes, the joke became real. I do think I'm cool for being totally unaware of this moronic celebration of big men, big crowds, big bowls of dip, big commercials, and little brains.

Mind you, this is a guy who once had a pretty hot tech startup that perpetual money-spender Barry Diller - currently hosing down The Daily Beast with his cash, sans promised Amazing Ad-Model - had invested in. Nobody's denying the guy might have an idea or two about how to get a startup off the ground. Unfortunately, his ego and need for performance - well-documented in his latest video - might be getting in the way.

Either way, if Lodwick wants to avoid the pitfalls of being poked fun at altogether - as opposed to just having to cope with it - he might want to employ the strategy/sage advice devised by our own burgeoning entrepreneur, Richard Blakeley:

Then again, he does work for us. So, there is that. Meanwhile: pretty sure the symbiosis of the universe is gonna be fine. So long as Lodwick keeps feeding us good material, we'll keep reporting on it. Isn't that how it works?